Prepare the cabbage: Cut the cabbage in half through the core, then cut each half in half again. Slice away the tough, white core from each wedge. Now, using a sharp knife, shred the cabbage into thin ribbons – about ½ cm wide. You’ll hear a clean, crisp snap as each ribbon separates. The pile should look pale green and fluffy, not wet or bruised.

Sweat the cabbage: Place the shredded cabbage in a large colander set over a bowl. Sprinkle over the tablespoon of salt and use your hands to toss and massage it into the leaves for about 2 minutes. You’ll feel the cabbage start to wilt and soften, and you’ll see liquid pooling at the bottom of the bowl. Let it sit for 30 minutes. The smell will be fresh and slightly briny.

Rinse and dry: After 30 minutes, rinse the cabbage thoroughly under cold running water to remove the excess salt. Then, take handfuls of the cabbage and squeeze it firmly to remove as much water as possible. You’ll hear the water squelch out. The cabbage should feel dry to the touch and look more translucent. Pat it dry with a clean tea towel.

Prepare the other vegetables: While the cabbage rests, peel the carrots and grate them on the large holes of a box grater. The carrots should form bright, moist strands. Finely dice the red onion into small pieces (about ½ cm). The onion should look like tiny, sharp jewels. Set both aside.

Make the dressing: In a small bowl or a jar with a tight-fitting lid, combine the mayonnaise, apple cider vinegar, Dijon mustard, caster sugar, celery seeds, black pepper, and lemon juice. If using the milk, add it now. Whisk or shake vigorously until the dressing is a uniform, pale ivory colour. The smell should be tangy and sharp, with a hint of mustard.

Combine and rest: In a large mixing bowl, combine the dried cabbage, grated carrots, and diced onion. Pour the dressing over the top. Use two large spoons to toss everything together, lifting from the bottom, until every shred of cabbage is coated. The mixture should look glossy and creamy, with no dry patches. Cover the bowl with cling film and refrigerate for at least 1 hour. This rest is crucial – the flavours will meld and the cabbage will soften slightly but keep its crunch.

Final taste and serve: After the rest, give the coleslaw a good stir. Taste a forkful – it should be cool, creamy, with a sharp tang from the vinegar and a gentle sweetness. Adjust with a pinch more salt or a splash more vinegar if needed. The cabbage should still have a distinct snap when you bite into it. Serve cold.